It's been 2 months since i spent time with my family. I really enjoyed myself. I finally appreciate the precious moments spent with my little family. Spending family time is so precious to me now.
The smile that glows on my little boy's face, the numerous times he wanted to hold my hand and mummy's hand, the way he wanted to bond his parents together, his actions simply touched my heart. Little did he know that his parents are getting divorced. I do not want to hurt him. I believe mummy would not want to hurt him too.
I have a son and he's coming 3 by February 2009. His name is Bryan. I love him so much i tattooed his name on my left forearm. I've a beautiful wife and her name is Jane. I love her, but my heart ALWAYS go astray easily. To her, i'm just a piece of trash, a useless bum, a nobody. We lack communication. I want to give her a good life. I wish she could trust me once again. I regret all that i have done in the past. But it is all too late now. If I could turn back time, i wish i could give her a proper, and a more romantic proposal. Everything happened too fast in the past. I did not treasure her presence. I did not take heed in the things my parents told me. I was too rebellious. I was too playful. Now i realise, i am a father, a husband. I have to be more responsible. It is all too late now. I'm counting down the days whereby i'll lose my wife.
Past few months had been bad. Had a huge argument with my dad. He accused me of having an affair with the maid. I got so furious i threatened to hammer him. I felt really bad after that. It's all about my ego, failing to apologise to him. I know he still loves me and accused me in a fit of anger. I love my dad too. I'm sorry daddy. I have not been good the past few months. Given him so much trouble. Sigh... I need to change.
I hope my wife would see this. I hope my dad would see this. I love you, Jane. I hope we could give this marriage another chance. I hope we could walk this path together, hand in hand, and holding bryan too. Give both our families a chance to cross paths and be happy together. I would want to hold your hand till eternity. I would want to be with you till death do us part. <--- I think itI will die quite early because i don't think i can live long. I want to see how we look when our hair turn grey. And i would want us to bring Bryan up together. I hope you can give me this chance. I'm fine if you want us to be seperated for the time being. Be it one year, two years... I will wait. Think for our son. He needs a family. He needs us there for him. And i need you. Last of all, Daddy, i hope you can forgive me. I will try my best to change for the better. I always tell myself i will want to be your good son, to give you a big house for your retirement, to let you enjoy the comfort of home together with mummy, and to look after my sisters. I want to let you carry as many grandchildren as possible ( that is if Jane permits).
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